What an eventful two months it has been!
I got a temporary job at Aviva as an admin officer. For the first week, I conquered mountains of filing. Sending out stacks of forms. Then I went on robotic processing of hardcopy forms on the computer.
During this period, I had a great time with the girls, especially Andrea and Clara, the two closest people in my team.
But a new post opened, and a new temp, with my recommendation, joined us. Ironically, he seemed to be doing the things I had envisioned during my search for a job -- real, skilled work in Office. Suddenly, what I was doing seemed to lack meaning, and threatened a comparison to my army days. So I became really pissed, and everyone thought I was PMS-ing.
For a week, I gave much thought to my work.
Why should I be angry? What can I do about it? That was when I realised I could do nothing. And this is why that very weekend, I decided to change [1].
I will no longer tolerate unhappiness (on a micro level; on the job). Why should I? I am getting paid to do less. I am good at what I do and they need my help. And I resumed greeting everyone in the morning [2].
It also led to a re-evaluation of what friends should be. Friends should listen. They should empathise. They should keep their promises.
And in perhaps what was a timely reminder, Andrea wrote:
Think of it this way, your contract is ending and you made some lovely friends, friends who you can keep. Working and work environment are always shitty, especially when bosses are shitty, that makes it worse! So, have fun while it lasts.
Compare this to a conclusion:
You can be rather confrontational. I'd rather spare myself the agony.
I think, you know, who you would rather be friends with.
But still. It's better to have friends than enemies right? So, I strive to maintain a basic level of civility with everyone, whether I like them or not. This is part of my change [1] as well.
You may ask, why did I decide to give up? Let me point you towards
Gossip Girl. In season 3, Eric tries ways and means to bring Jenny back to the good side. Eventually he fails, and the season finale concludes in a truce. In a way, this is something like that. I am no longer interested in what you do. I am done.
Moving on, this journey has taught me plenty of lessons. I learnt about office politics (and the lines that are drawn appear clearest when you least expect it), filing, forms and signatures (useful, perhaps?). I gained new friends and lost some. In the last days at work, I laughed more.
I was told my contract would not be extended because of ahem, the new executive. So I got my mind fixed on this until the second last day, when a new arrangement would allow me to return to my exact same job in two weeks time.
After much thought [3], I declined it. Perhaps it's time for a leap of faith into another kind of job altogether.
And farewell was bittersweet. I got something for everyone, a personal gift on a shoestring budget -- something they each liked. And they all wrote a card filled with the most encouraging, most appreciative comments, together with a set of really nice Parker pens. Andrea got me chocolate from the Chocolate Research Facility, the shop at Wheelock Place which I've always looked in but never actually gone into.
That was when Hui Xian, my executive, tried to convince me to come back. My main complaint was the filing so as part of the job redesign I would file less. I am not sure if that would help, but anyway her appeal was successful. I am returning to Aviva on the 22nd of February, 2010, subject to the actual contract offered.
In the future, I think what I need is to
find meaning in what I do. Maybe I need a new approach for filing as well. One which includes goals. Because if the old don't go, the new can't come in -- literally, the place is bursting with old files and documents. Right now, it's like quicksand. Just as I get some old ones out, the new ones fill up the whole place. Internet access would be a plus as well, but I could very well settle for Internet email.
Even if things still don't work out, I am only accepting a maximum limit of two months (based on the previous contract). I hope it does, though.
[1] See my earlier post,
Newbie.
[2] In my early days at Aviva, our friendly cleaner, whom we affectionately called
Auntie, greeted us every morning without fail, with a warm smile on her face, when she came to clear our rubbish. Regrettably, she is no longer working here. This contrast was how I realised the power of a
good morning -- it wakes one up, and in the words of my executive, Hui Xian, "brightens my day".
[3] See my earlier post,
Are we golden?.
