Sunday, March 21, 2010

What do you want from me?

I missed the sun this weekend.

As usual, I procrastinated when the sun was up and bright -- had to iron and mop -- then, the clouds really came. I had a quick couple of laps in the pool before the rain came and reminded me to meet Jessica and the rest.

It has been a long time since I was out on a Sunday night, and things feel weird. The lack of crowds (I later realised it could be due to the Thong Chai charity show) and cool silence of the night bring me back to the days when Sunday nights were a long walk into camp and a time of quiet contemplation of the training ahead.

It makes me want to run. To run far, far away until my legs defy me and I lie on the cold hard floor. [1]

Perhaps it's time for me to look positively to what's coming. After all, I have once told myself that nothing can be worse than being in there.

For now, I should end this post with what's stuck in my head and sleep. Looks like I won't be able to wake up earlier tomorrow.
Extract from Adam Lambert - Whataya Want from Me

Just don't give up
I'm workin' it out
Please don't give in
I won't let you down

[1] Sounds perfect for a sleepless night, on lit paths. Something that I haven't tried, though.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The mighty pen

In the latest and aptly titled Whose Handwriting is it Anyway?, contestants recover their ancient manuscripts and attempt to guess whose handwriting is it!

Sometimes, I think to myself, eia i u a oae i!

Downtime

Unexpectedly, I was inspired by Gerald's post about his unexpected website downtime. How crazy is that?

But that's how it is in life.

How often do you have a scheduled downtime?

When you crash, it hits you when you least expect it.

Maybe it's the stress from work (there is so much to do!) and upcoming events. Sometimes I wonder...

Meanwhile, here's what's coming up, in chronological order:

March 12: D&D
March: Room reorg
March 29: Dental

April 13: Driving practical test
April 16: Medical checkup @ NUS
April: LASIK
April 29: Birthday
April: New job?

Anyway I have taken to jogging. It's just amazing how your legs can bring you just about anywhere. I thought about Jessica and her cycling, and realised I run because I don't have her wheels! And, as an excuse, the feasible distance available in Simei is actually quite short. Just my second jog of the week already and it feels a little too easy.

Jogging in the evening is also a good time to peoplewatch and enjoy the last rays of the setting sun. To think I met Hui Yee and the maid yesterday but they didn't recognise me.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Wishlist

My wishlist
16 March 2010

Reading
  • The next Adrian Mole book by Sue Townsend
  • Adrian Mole: The Prostrate Years by Sue Townsend (fulfilled January 2010; thanks Sin Yee for the 30% Borders discount)
  • Men's Health Ultimate Dumbbell Guide by Myatt Murphy
  • The Body Sculpting Bible Express by James Villepigue, Hugo Rivera
  • (not sure) The Body Sculpting Bible for Men by James Villepigue, Hugo Rivera
  • Men's Health subscription
Digital media
  •  The Sims 3: World Adventures expansion (DVD for PC/Mac)
Gadgets
  • Nokia N86 8MP with Ovi Maps 3 (come on, Nokia!)
  • Lenovo ThinkPad
  • LaCie itsakey (not sure which key I want yet, actually)
Home
  • Water-soluble lavender solution for air purifier
Personal stuff
  • Wardrobe revamp -- totally not easy
  • Confidence
  • Acceptance
Inspired by Jessica's wishlist.


You: friend; I: Sim.

Wishes, when fulfilled, keep Sims people happy as well as working towards some short and long-term goals and rewards. Wishes come from anywhere and everywhere, based on the person's traits, their job, their skills, their friends or coworkers, where they are, or what they might be doing.

The player friend can promise to help with a wish or throw it away. Satisfying these basic tasks will unlock minor rewards and increase overall morale with a "moodlet" -- a minor condition that contributes to the characters' overall mood.

However, now you are free to pick or ignore one's wishes without fear of some sort of mental breakdown. These are just suggestions.
Modified from The Sims 3 on The Sims Wiki.


      Wednesday, February 17, 2010

      Thanks, Cheng Wai

      Finally feeling the heat of the upcoming Chinese New Year, I had decided, in the last minute, to do some shopping last Wednesday.

      And it just happened that I managed to pull Cheng Wai along. I should be so lucky. He has all the cards.

      After walking around City Hall without getting anything, we finally went to Orchard. I don't know if it's luck or what, but it was a closed cardmembers' special day at Tangs. And Cheng Wai had the right to entrance!

      It was quite crowded despite it being a weekday, but the deals were really good -- Tangs usually seems expensive to me -- many ad valorem discounts plus extra for cardmembers. So it was like really good sale prices for good items, unlike some Expo sales which are just cheap but not so good on the looks.

      In the end I got a pair of Puma shoes and some polos, while he got a pair of loafers.

      It was an interesting experience. After all, I haven't been doing shopping. Targeted shopping can be quite fun too. Thanks, Cheng Wai!

      Computer says no

      Title in reference to Computer Says No on Little Britain, UK.

      I just talked to a guards officer.

      Sometimes I wonder if the algorithm used was goog enough [1]. Granted, I would not give anything now to change the vast experience I had gained from my time, but sometimes, the feelings of inferiority come back.

      But it is so ironic that I am even thinking of this. My so-called "try my best" has given me a place in the middle of the gradient between cost minimisation (slack) and utility maximisation (meaning). I should be happy. Plus the initial shit quantum is bound to be commensurate with the level of "meaning" you are at.

      I guess nothing in there can make me happy. So why should I let it bother me now? Haha. Indeed I shouldn't.

      I shall talk to him again.

      [1] Surely, you must know that Google's PageRank has served us with the most relevant results ever. However, I was referring to the alleged computerised selection process used to sort conscripts in Singapore.

      Thursday, February 11, 2010

      Tuesday, February 9, 2010

      Let me tell you about my boat

      What an eventful two months it has been!

      I got a temporary job at Aviva as an admin officer. For the first week, I conquered mountains of filing. Sending out stacks of forms. Then I went on robotic processing of hardcopy forms on the computer.

      During this period, I had a great time with the girls, especially Andrea and Clara, the two closest people in my team.

      But a new post opened, and a new temp, with my recommendation, joined us. Ironically, he seemed to be doing the things I had envisioned during my search for a job -- real, skilled work in Office. Suddenly, what I was doing seemed to lack meaning, and threatened a comparison to my army days. So I became really pissed, and everyone thought I was PMS-ing.

      For a week, I gave much thought to my work. Why should I be angry? What can I do about it? That was when I realised I could do nothing. And this is why that very weekend, I decided to change [1].

      I will no longer tolerate unhappiness (on a micro level; on the job). Why should I? I am getting paid to do less. I am good at what I do and they need my help. And I resumed greeting everyone in the morning [2].

      It also led to a re-evaluation of what friends should be. Friends should listen. They should empathise. They should keep their promises.

      And in perhaps what was a timely reminder, Andrea wrote:
      Think of it this way, your contract is ending and you made some lovely friends, friends who you can keep. Working and work environment are always shitty, especially when bosses are shitty, that makes it worse! So, have fun while it lasts.
      Compare this to a conclusion:
      You can be rather confrontational. I'd rather spare myself the agony.
      I think, you know, who you would rather be friends with.

      But still. It's better to have friends than enemies right? So, I strive to maintain a basic level of civility with everyone, whether I like them or not. This is part of my change [1] as well.

      You may ask, why did I decide to give up? Let me point you towards Gossip Girl. In season 3, Eric tries ways and means to bring Jenny back to the good side. Eventually he fails, and the season finale concludes in a truce. In a way, this is something like that. I am no longer interested in what you do. I am done.

      Moving on, this journey has taught me plenty of lessons. I learnt about office politics (and the lines that are drawn appear clearest when you least expect it), filing, forms and signatures (useful, perhaps?). I gained new friends and lost some. In the last days at work, I laughed more.

      I was told my contract would not be extended because of ahem, the new executive. So I got my mind fixed on this until the second last day, when a new arrangement would allow me to return to my exact same job in two weeks time.

      After much thought [3], I declined it. Perhaps it's time for a leap of faith into another kind of job altogether.

      And farewell was bittersweet. I got something for everyone, a personal gift on a shoestring budget -- something they each liked. And they all wrote a card filled with the most encouraging, most appreciative comments, together with a set of really nice Parker pens. Andrea got me chocolate from the Chocolate Research Facility, the shop at Wheelock Place which I've always looked in but never actually gone into.

      That was when Hui Xian, my executive, tried to convince me to come back. My main complaint was the filing so as part of the job redesign I would file less. I am not sure if that would help, but anyway her appeal was successful. I am returning to Aviva on the 22nd of February, 2010, subject to the actual contract offered.

      In the future, I think what I need is to find meaning in what I do. Maybe I need a new approach for filing as well. One which includes goals. Because if the old don't go, the new can't come in -- literally, the place is bursting with old files and documents. Right now, it's like quicksand. Just as I get some old ones out, the new ones fill up the whole place. Internet access would be a plus as well, but I could very well settle for Internet email.

      Even if things still don't work out, I am only accepting a maximum limit of two months (based on the previous contract). I hope it does, though.

      [1] See my earlier post, Newbie.

      [2] In my early days at Aviva, our friendly cleaner, whom we affectionately called Auntie, greeted us every morning without fail, with a warm smile on her face, when she came to clear our rubbish. Regrettably, she is no longer working here. This contrast was how I realised the power of a good morning -- it wakes one up, and in the words of my executive, Hui Xian, "brightens my day".

      [3] See my earlier post, Are we golden?.

      Thursday, February 4, 2010

      Are we golden?

      Job A = Mostly Shit + Mostly Friends
      Job X = Probably Shit Too + Not Sure If They'll Be Friends

      Which would you choose?