Saturday, March 04, 2006

当朋友有难时,我们应该袖手旁观吗?

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当父母的,可以打孩子吗?

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每当我与朋友谈起父母打孩子的事时,“打是疼,骂是爱”必定出现在我们的交谈中。当父母的,难道就有权力大孩子吗?

首先,孩子被打的原因太多了。有些孩子被打,可能是因为学业不够好、太顽皮、做错事、等等。父母可能认为孩子要接触到疼痛才会改过自新。的确,有些孩子死性不改,但是,这类孩子是极少的。打孩子的父母有没有想过他们的孩子不但需要忍受挨打,还要在思想上受到打击。孩子没想到亲爱的父母会打他们。如果孩子产生怨恨的话,那不会把事情弄得更严重吗?

第二,法律上不允许打人的。若成年人不能打别人的话,父母更不应该打孩子了。打孩子的父母,一旦把打孩子当成日常生活中的活动之一,比较容易产生对孩子的暴力行为。这对家庭什么好处都没有,甚至告诉孩子大孩子是可以的,是应该的。孩子长大成家后,也就会打他的孩子了。所以,我认为打孩子,会给孩子错误的理念,真是不应该。

要教导孩子,我觉得应该从小孩开始,孩子越幼稚时开始越好。家长也要与孩子多多接触,因为这对培养孩子与家长的良好关系必有帮助。有了一个良好的关系后,父母就可以教孩子什么是好,什么是坏。这是非常重要的。父母可以试使用电视上的新闻当作教材,与孩子谈谈新闻里的人物是否做对了,还是犯错了。当然,父母也应该以身作则,教孩子不要撒谎,自己也不要说谎。

孩子若做错事了,如果被打,那我觉得这个方法太老套了。首先,我认为父母应该与孩子谈一谈,看看孩子知错了,而有没有想改过。若有必要惩罚时,用较有创意的惩罚会更好。

第一种较有创意的惩罚方式就是拿走孩子的一些特权。比如说,如果孩子喜欢看电视,父母可以罚他一段时间不能看电视,而要做别的。不管孩子喜欢玩电脑游戏或喜欢去逛街,父母都可以用一样的方法。第二种是叫孩子帮父母办事,好像做家务或洗车。还有一种是反省的方式。父母可以指定孩子在一段时间里什么都不可以做,要在一旁好好反省反省。过后,父母也可以要求孩子写一片文章,写出自己的错误和感触。方式虽然不同,但,它们都没有使孩子感到疼痛。

有了这么多有效和无疼痛的惩罚方式,父母不再需要用打的老套方法。父母们,用点创意吧。惩罚孩子根本不用打。

说了不能打孩子的道理,也提出了别的有效方法。挺好!
在文章前半部分直接地、鲜明地把你的观点亮出来。

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2 Comments:

At Saturday, March 04, 2006 10:41:00 PM, Blogger Grouch2 said...

Actually I think beating kids is alright. 不打不成器!Actually Americans think that beating their children will cause them to be violent, and they came up with crappy ideas like grounding their children or sending them to bed early.

It's almost similar to your idea of getting an hour's less of TV. However, what kind of punishment is it when a child does something wrong and a parent sends him to bed early? If I were the kid who have done wrong, most probably I would have thought "Hmm, if i do something wrong, I get to sleep!"

Same goes to grounding children. Get grounded, stay at home and game lor. What's the big deal. Better than getting caned right?

I know of a parent who doesnt beat his kid at all. He only give his son a stern warning or scold him when he does something undesirable/wrong. No caning at all. Zero caning. What happen in the end? The son climbs over the father's head. (Figuratively.)

You're right that the law does not allow adults to beat one another (or fighting). But if parents cant even cane their children, wah then like no authority over child.

I can accept canning to a certain extent. That's because I know my parents beat me for a certain good reason. I was wrong, and they wanted me to remember that forever. 刻苦民心mah. If parents want to beat their children, they must know the limits of their authority.

 
At Wednesday, February 04, 2009 3:19:00 PM, Blogger cdgnfg said...

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